Sisterhood is dear to me. That’s why it’s been painful for me to not have heard directly from my only sister since Christmas last year. My mother tells me she’s been in a dark place and she just can’t. I know ‘dark place’. It’s a really hard place. Hard to reach out and hard to receive. It still hurts though. Hurting and Silence (I know too well this co-dependent relationship).
But, this morning something shifted. I participated in the Seven Sisters Online Festival this weekend. I joined the opening ceremony … felt so moved and inspired by indigenous elder, N’arweet Carolyn Briggs as she spoke, … I sat and let the tears run down my cheeks, my chest expanding with the warmth of my heart opening, my eyes taking in 180+ women in small boxes, filling the gallery views of 6, 7, more pages… I was in the chute of sisterhood. We were hungry and receptive in our covid pandemic realities.
I felt at home, and I was at home, immersed in the ethereal threads of feminine wisdom and connection. I offered my Moving Essence 5Rhythms session the next morning as if from a dream state, a prayer place. It felt really good, like freshly home baked sourdough bread. Sharing 5Rhythms connects me… to my purpose and my place. It connected me today to many women. Some I know well, some just by face. Others unknown. but we met regardless, in the beat, on the zoom screen, to dance, to move, to cry, celebrate and witness our truths.
…these offerings shook me up and softened my defences, and held me like a sweet sister… birthing me into new moon possibilities.
I’m glad I found a warm bath that evening to fall into. I scrub myself, I soak, PJs, and herbal tea… I dreamily find the big armchair in the lounge room and join my family watching the Preliminary football final on TV. (Go Cats!) The perfect antidote for my saturated soul!
Next day, I’m drawn to the “Inner wisdom Yin journey” and was gently guided through my personal female rites of passage. More tears, a swirl of somatic information. I join restorative yoga, and teachings around boundaries. It felt nourishing to feel the sisterhood of other women sharing space with me. I shared a few private texts with girlfriends as we exchanged emojis and curiosities on our seven sisters Journey so far. In truth, I personally found the experience rich and deep and I could hear from others some of our shared collective herstory. All these offerings shook me up and softened my defences, and held me like a sweet sister… birthing me into new moon possibilities.
Monday morning arrives. I make tea. I make my daughters lunch for school. I sit to write. nothing comes. “Nothing needs to” – I tell myself. I meditate… I cry, I touch old… very old tears, visions of a separation I couldn’t bear, pain rising sharply in my left thigh, like a somatic story crying out for attention. I meditate with this. I touch the pain. it’s intense like something is gripping on for dear life and then I feel my heart soften and open and say “Only love.”… my touch softens. I tell myself it’s ok to let go… it’s ok… this is old… my touch becomes tender… I feel my leg like a new born baby. Fragile and scared. I hold myself tenderly, this is a new beginning. I rock and cry a little, I’m tired, I curl up and rest.
I’m healing… (I hear my self say – “Still”!) There’s part of me that thinks I should be done with this healing by now – After all I’m 53 and have spent a lifetime doing healing work and the last 30 offering healing work. ( A little pride creeps in… followed by a sprinkling of embarrassment ) But I realise there’s nothing to judge, “Only love” I hear myself say again. … I’m sounding like a Beatles song! Perhaps healing is just simply letting love find it’s way. I forgive myself for being human (lol) I forgive my sister. It’s OK… she’ll get in touch … she just needs time. For now, I know, I have an abundance of beautiful sisters… and love will find it’s way.
I’m grateful for the opportunity to offer my work at the Seven Sisters Festival online. I’ve benefited deeply from other women’s wisdom through my own participation and have felt supported in my own healing journey…
Thank you to each and everyone of you who showed up to Dance! 5Rhythms, to be real and raw and share together in this way.
To learn more visit Seven Sisters Festival Online.
The playlist for my 5Rhythms session is available below. Please support independent musicians by purchasing music as much as possible. All songs can be purchased through Raven Recording.
To dance 5Rhythms Unexpected Waves with me again any time ON DEMAND visit 5Rhythms LiveStream
To dance online again with me come to one of our weekly Moving Essence Online classes.